Healing

As a lot of you know, Turbo was very special to me. Irreplaceable. I loved everything about that dog (even his tendency to try and pick a fight with the biggest dogs). I loved his funny little 10 and 2 stance, the way he got excited when I asked if he wanted to go ride, the moment he saw his leash he would whine until we were finally out the door. Turbo had something called Myasthenia Gravis: enlargement of his esophagus among other things such as pneumonia and possible cancer. When the doctor told me his heart, kidneys, and blood count were fine, I was relieved. Little did I know something just as bad if not worse was about to be dropped on me and my family. We all huddled close to the xray as the Dr. explained everything. Then he basically said it was hard and expensive to treat and that “even if Bill Gates walked through the door he still wouldn’t recommend treatment.” Thats when I went into a daze. I kept asking myself how and why was this happening.

I guess we never know why these things happen to people, to me and my family. All I know is that when I saw my baby on that table I just wanted to scoop him up, run out of the office, take him home, and cuddle with him. Watching my baby quickly pass was the worst 15 seconds of the worst day of my life. I just felt like dying.

Today, I feel a sort of relief. I am still not the happiest person in the world, but I have the feeling that I can and will be eventually. I have laughed, I have cried, and I think I have accepted that I did everything and anything for that little boy. There is only so much crying you can do before you realize that you’ve already done everything you could to make that little guys life the best possible. Everyone loved Turbo, and pretty much everyone that loved him, he absolutely adored in return (Yes, even Caesar, my cat). I went through my videos of Turbo a couple of days ago and I am so extremely glad that I still have them all. I love watching him play and be happy (and cute of course). With Turbo ending on such a miserable note, it was amazing to see his happy puppy face once again. I hope that while he waits for me up there, hes playing and jumping and having fun and also, watching out for me and my family.

Goodbye my little friend. I love you so much.

The day I got him.

My little angel

That first morning. ❤

He had a mohawk

He went Tubing down the river in helen

He was so photogenic!

He and uncle Russell were so funny together.

His second birthday

I miss you little boy!

 

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